Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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