guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
