ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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