Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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