can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
