North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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