yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
