idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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