When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
