talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
