Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
soo... how was my night?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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