Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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