Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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