i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
