at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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