She's JV to your varsity
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
