Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
