my vag is so smooth its legendary
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
