I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
