Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I believe in your delicious
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
