he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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