Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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