It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
