Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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