well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
