But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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