Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
