i think my mom watched the whole time
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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