Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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