Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
