I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
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