I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
