Non-Jews are for practice
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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