What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
