im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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