Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
