i may or may not be watching the land before time
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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