apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
