I just saw a hot homeless man
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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