we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
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