i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
