What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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