Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
