only if we run a train.
done.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
