Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
