Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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