I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
