guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
