i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
