We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Welp...herpes.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
